On Second Thoughts — Supraja

Have you ever been the person who thinks: “I'll figure it out.” “I don't need help.” “Let me try once more.” And somehow, one more try becomes months of doing the same thing? I have. And recently, I started questioning why. Maybe it wasn't confidence I always thought I was simply independent. I liked figuring things out myself. I liked knowing that I could handle things without depending on someone. Maybe growing up as the responsible one had something to do with it. Being careful. Being responsible. Trying not to create problems. Getting used to handling things yourself. And slowly, “I can handle it” becomes less of a choice and more of an identity. Then came the excuses Take my relationship with food. I'd decide: “I'll eat properly from tomorrow.” Then I'd skip meals. Stay hungry. Try to control everything. Eventually get extremely hungry and eat junk. And then... I was busy. I didn't have time. Today was different....

Have you ever said something with one intention, only for it to be conveyed completely differently to someone else? And then, somehow, you become the person who “did something.” You know what you meant. You know what actually happened. You know you never intended to hurt anyone. But somewhere between one person and another, your words changed. Then another person hears a different version. And suddenly, you're the topic of a conversation you didn't even know existed. The worst part? You feel bad. Not because you know you did something wrong, but because you know people are thinking something about you that isn't true. You start questioning people. You start wondering who you can trust. You become careful about what you say because you're afraid that even your simplest words might be interpreted differently. And then comes that strange feeling— “I am the one who got hurt. So how did I become the bad person in this story?” Maybe you've experienced this too...

Have you ever had that feeling that you are finally growing in your professional life? You are learning new things, becoming more professional, improving your career skills, gaining knowledge, taking responsibilities, working harder and staying dedicated. And slowly, you start feeling that everything you are doing is finally paying off for your career. But then, out of nowhere, you realize something. What happened to the person you used to be? The simple things you once did for fun. The goofy moments. The random crazy ideas. The hobbies you loved. The things you did simply because they made you happy. Somewhere between building a career and building a life, you may have accidentally stopped living the life you were building it for. And lately, that's exactly how I have been feeling. I Miss the Old Me I used to listen to music and dance like crazy in my own little space. I loved drawing and painting. I enjoyed arts and crafts. I loved being creative. I used to randomly l...